insomnia...

Apr. 13, 2007 - 11:19 am

Last year, if you'll recall, I had several months of nights when I would wake up at 1-2 AM and not be able to get back to sleep, just staring at the ceiling. At the time, I attributed it to booze, and my liver deciding it has already completed its life work. Since it happened after even one beer, I stopped drinking for several months and tested the water a bit later on, going back to drinking my beer and scotch (and on occasion, some nice wine). The restlessness and insomnia had gone away, or my liver decided it had enough vacation... ;P

While I do think the drinking was half the reason (since by not drinking during that time, glorious sleep was available), there now appears to be another one that goes hand-in-hand with it which I never even thought of at the time.

Looking back on what I wrote six months later, and thinking back in my mind, it appears that the beginning of this long-term insomnia coincided with my breakup with Lisa. I remember thinking how weird it was that I wasn't drinking, since our mutual drinking/drunken arguments were one of the big reasons we broke up.

Why do I bring this up, you ask? Glad you asked, but you can probably see where this is going. After having several beers at the sushi bar with her on Wednesday, I awoke at 1AM and couldn't get back to sleep. Having a few last night while WoW'ing (Dreadsteed!), I went to bed early, and awoke... at 1AM.

It's Lisa... or rather my state of mind after having her firmly in the forefront of said mind for a couple days... coupled with the beers. As my mind works and churns her away yet again, I will of necessity need to remove the other part of the equation; my Bass while WoW'ing (or anything else). It'll work well with my new diet, my resolve to get back to the gym and running, and get back out there into the dating pool. Strangely, my meeting with her has shown me that maybe, just maybe, I *am* ready to start in that direction again.

I wish her the best; I hope that she continues her path of self-improvement, and I hope that she realizes she doesn't have to "settle" for a relationship when she is so capable of finding someone she can truly love.