birthday woes... again

Feb. 12, 2007 - 6:43 am

Found out on Saturday that one of our cats has intestinal cancer and only a few months left... I will need to find that balancing point for "quality of life" before taking him in. He has always been the best "big brother" to all the cats and kittens that have come and gone before him... but he's all skin and bones now, and wont eat crunchy food any more. Even the canned doesn�t seem to satisfy him, so that time may be coming sooner than we'd like. Boys know, and are sad, of course. We just had another cat hit by a car 6 months ago. Bye, Oliver.

My moms less-than-stellar support (read: trying to continue to be friends with Kathy during an acrimonious divorce from her son) put a real damper on a relationship I was trying to strengthen at the time. Even though *now* I have no problem with her maintaining a friendly relationship with the mother of her grandchildren, at the time that was not an option for me, and she knew it. A *hilacious* argument ensued, and was never resolved to my satisfaction. She made her choice, and our relationship suffered because of it. Not destroyed, but definitely distant. I am no longer attempting to "strengthen" that relationship, but am fine with letting it be.

My sister mentioned a month or so ago that she (and my mom) could "support us both" and everything would be fine... I didn't mention to her at the time (but I will) that *now* that is fine, but at the time it wasn't an option.

So this Thursday is my birthday. At the soccer game on Saturday, my mom asked what I was going to be up to. Even though it's Kathy's week, I get to have some Birthday time with the Boys, so I'm taking them to Benihana, for the entertainment aspect more than the food. Should be fun, even though Sean doesn't really eat (he'll probably stick to rice), and it will be a waste of money for him, but fun nonetheless. Quality Boy Time.

Yesterday, my mom called up and invited herself to that dinner. I was a bit taken aback; I find that inviting yourself somewhere is the pinnacle of rudeness, as it puts the "host" in a horrible spot. It's one of the things I tell the Boys constantly... just because your friends are doing something you might really, really want to do, you don't invite yourself somewhere.

So she took my very long pause in replying to her to throw out "well, you can always say 'no...'" but of course I *couldn't* say "no," which is why I find inviting yourself somewhere incredibly presumptuous and rude. But then again, my mom has been "losing it" for a while now. She mentioned that she likes to be around Family, and since I am really the only one close by, that means me and the Boys primarily.

Yeah... "family." Should have thought about that when I needed her support during my divorce. But yes, I know... family means "unconditional love," unconditional meaning even though I felt incredibly betrayed by her a couple years ago, I need to let that go and give her the chance to do it again...

Wait, that's not right... just let it go. Sure. But I'm supposed to just forget about that and go on with it like it never happened. I have a tough time with that.

Of course, I really had no choice in the matter. Now I will suck it up, and likely won't even use this as a learning tool for the Boys. Connor is *extremely* perceptive though, and will likely ask me what's wrong. I hope he waits until the drive home.

What sucks the most is that for me, at least, it's a moot point. If she's there, I will be uncomfortable because I wanted time with the Boys on my Birthday. If I tell her not to come, I will feel *incredibly* guilty for doing so, and won't have a good time. So basically, I'm screwed either way. I know I should live and let live, alla those good sayings... easier said than done.

Anyone want to bet I'll be paying for her dinner as well?

Birthday sushi with my Dad tonight will be good, at least.

Been playing a LOT of "World of Warcraft" with Connor now that he's off restriction. I am definitely hooked.