glad THATs over

Nov. 18, 2006 - 6:02 pm

Today was the last day of soccer season... we had our final game, went to the Rat Palace (Chuck E Cheese) for our awards party, and I handed out the trophies. This has been, by far, the worst of the three seasons I have coached... even worse than Last year when I coached two teams. One reason... the parents?

Assholes.

Only a couple, but
Fuck.
Them.

Parents like this are the reason there is a lack of coaches every year... why would someone sign up to take the kind of crap I took this season? They're lucky my first rule is not to yell at parents in front of the kids (the corollary to which they do not share), so it seemed very one sided.

At least one parent gave me a nice card thanking me for showing and teaching good sportsmanship... that made all the difference. I appreciated that more than I can say.

Next... arena soccer. At least there's no practice for this; it's more fun for the Boys too.

Some of the neighborhood kids have been hanging out on the street a lot lately... they're great kids, two girls who hang out with the neighbor girl down the street and play soccer in the same league as my Boys. Same age as them as well. Their brother was on Connor's team (that I coached) last year.

Their mom is, well... pretty damn hot (for a 43 year old... heh). Last year, she was VERY affectionate and nice to me all year... Nothing in particular, just nice and huggy and not wanting to let go. Talking about our respective divorces, and having someone to vent to. A little flirting, but nothing more than that, as I was with Lisa at the time.

Lisa and I broke up in March, and I haven't so much as gone on a date or kissed a woman since then. It's been by choice for sure; if I wanted to start dating, I would. I enjoy my alone time too much.

Of course, there is that incredible sex life Lisa and I shared... it was amazing, and I have been missing that more and more as time has gone on. Even more in the last month or so.

But I am so not ready for a relationship it's not even funny. And my own set of values really preclude sex with no emotional attachment; I don't need to be married, but i need to feel something for someone other than just that they are warm and there.

I decided to see if I still needed that... this soccer mom's daughters were around, so I figured she would be at some point as well. When I ran into her, I was going to see if she just wanted to get together on occasion and just jump each others' bones... nothing more than that. I don't want a relationship right now, and figured I could at least see if she felt the same way, and just go for the gratification. If something else came up, we'd just go our separate ways; no hard feelings. Just some fun in the interim. I haven't done that in ages, and the last time I did (25? years ago?) I didn't like it very much. Just figured I'd see if I could finally separate sex and love.

As it turns out, as soon as I made that decision, I found out she moved to Oregon. Oh well... but it was weird, as I hadn't seen her in nearly a year, and yet I was thinking "fuck-buddy." Hmmm.

I just figured that was the way the Universe had of telling me I should stick with my emotional attachment before sex.

Until this evening... I was coming back from the pizza party (just to bring this full circle), and saw one of the daughters hanging out of a truck at the dad's house. I was going to honk and wave, but I don't yet know the daughters well enough, and I thought they might think I was some weirdo or something as I went by.

OK; some kind of sick, perverted weirdo.

Don't go there.

Anyway, I got home and proceeded to finish washing the walls in preparation of painting next weekend.

The excitement of my life is astonishing, I know.

I peered out the window and saw the girls, and then saw my neighbor talking to someone in a truck that looked very similar to the one that was at their house.

I couldn't see the driver, as my neighbor was in the way.

I went out to chat, never thinking for a minute that this might be going there, and sure enough, it was the mom. Back from Oregon, living about 20 miles from here, and visiting her kids.

The fact that I am sitting here and typing this should let you know it' didn't go in the direction I had previously thought it might.

We talked (her, my neighbor and I... my neighbor is married, but a horndog) for about 20 minutes, and I excused myself to finish my wallpaper stripping/washing.

What??? it needs to dry overnight...

Anyway; she came in with her youngest daughter (Sean's age) to "see the new kitten" (and if that isn't a euphemism, I don't know what is), and my neighbor excused himself eventually. As we talked about my remodeling, the daughter got bored and went back outside, and we talked/vented some more for a bit.

I just didn't know how to go in the direction I (thought I)wanted... or even if I should. I semi-jokingly said she should stay over rather than making the drive. We hugged *really* nicely on my porch. She had me lean in right next to her to listen on her cellphone for a phone number, since she couldn't see to write the number down. She had to go, but I wanted her to come right back after dropping off her kids... but I never said it right out. Even mentioned that I would offer her a place to stay, but didn't want to give her ex court ammo (long story, and this is long enough already).

Yeah, I know... it was all there, right in front of me, and I didn't take it. I invited her back; we'll see if it happens. But my neighbor was all ready to jump her as well; if his wife hadn't been at home, I think he probably would have (discussions on him being a dirtbag for another time). He said I was an idiot (and he's right); I should be getting all sweaty right now.

If he's right and that's the case, it's *exactly* what I was looking for... no commitment sex, with someone I am very attracted to... just to see. She (or I) can go on their merry way if something better comes along.

She's pretty messed up emotionally though... do I want to use something like that for my own gratification? I tend to think not... but maybe, if she comes back, we can talk a bit. I think if she *does* come back, though (and I think she will, but overanalysis seems to be my middle name), it will lead to what I hope will be a nice set of interludes, with us both feeling better afterwards... and during.