a birthday present for me

May. 03, 2006 - 12:59 pm

I have come to find an interesting dichotomy in the way TheX and I prioritize things re: our Boys. When we were making our lists of things to be written down in legalese, I wanted to make certain that I got to spend my Birthday with the Boys... it's an important time, and they are the most important people in my life... of *course* I would want to be with them, so we had it spelled out that our Birthday would be spent with us, superseding the regular scheduling. I just assumed TheX would want that too.

But we were going over scheduling on the phone just now... with the way things worked out in the Judgment, I wouldn't have them for a weekend until June... or so it seemed. She gets them this weekend, and next weekend is Mother's Day/ her Birthday, and the weekend after that was her weekend anyway, then she gets Memorial Day this year, then her weekend... see where this is going?

But I checked the Judgment, and Mother's Day is made up the following weekend, which I didn't recall... and I'll be in Vegas. SO I called to ask TheX if she could pick them up Friday and I'd grab them when I got back into town on Saturday. Seems she was already planning on that, and wasn't planning on having anything supersede the regular schedule.

I'm fine with that; I get Boys more (even though I was planning on using *next* weekend to fill that dumpster I got for the kitchen stuff... may as well get rid of all the crap around the house as well.) But the thing is that while I jumped through all sorts of hoops to have the Boys on *my* birthday (even though that night wound up being a disaster with the ex-GF), TheX doesn't *want* them on hers... she'd rather use it as "her" time.

That just floored me... but I won't say it that way to the Boys, of course. Could be that she just wants to celebrate her 40th birthday with her party friends? Could be... but it follows through with the thoughts I always had that *I* would always be there for her/Boys, and she could go off and do whatever... her priorities, which led to our divorce.

It's her life... I, of course, will continue to make them my #1 priority.

One of the nice perks of the motorcycle has been, as I said, walking the Boys to school in the morning, and then (briskly) walking home to get on the bike and head to work. The last two mornings, they complained about the walk a little loudly, so I told them that the walk was really for me, and the time I got to spend with them doing something so simple and casual.

Besides... OldestBoy is in sixth grade... I've got about 7 more weeks of these walks ahead of me (3&1/2, since I won't have them opposite weeks), so I'm milking them for all they're worth. Next year, it will just be YoungestBoy and myself, as OldestBoy rides his bike to Jr High

*sniff* My Boy...

So the last two days, I have during the walk regaled them with tales of my youth... not anything from when I was wild, but rather from when I was *their* age, and the things I did around the house.

They have been enraptured, and asked for more... :) Of course, now I have to come up with a new story every morning...

Had trees trimmed as we were leaving. It's sad, because we had a little tree the Boys just *loved* to climb. Unfortunately, it was a volunteer, and right against my neighbors wall. It either had to a) come out now, and we plant another one in the center of the yard, or b) come out in 2 years, and we'd have to pay for the neighbor's block wall it destroyed as well, and the "new" tree would be 2 years smaller.

Of course, after it was gone I thought of c): wait a year to tear it out, *and* plant the tree in the middle of the yard now, so it has a chance to grow for a year. I'm pissed I didn't think of that earlier. Bah.

Finally, OldestBoy had some really sad news last night... his... "girlfriend" is moving to Nebraska this summer. She was never really his "girlfriend," (hence the quotes), but she was one of those girls who as they were growing up would tease and hit him, so you could TOTALLY tell she liked him, and vice versa (even though he never hit her, of course... what kind of Boy do you think I'm raising??? ;P ). Both she and another mutual girl-friend wrote him an email last night that she was leaving and that if he "had anything to say to her, he should do it now."

So he did. He told her (in an email) that he "liked-liked her."

He and I wound up talking about how brave that was (even though it wasn't as brave as doing so in person), and about girls and people and cliques in general, and about how well-adjusted I feel he is, pretty much all around.

Good talk... he's a great kid. I don't worry about him going to the Dark Side... his brother is a little more worrisome, but I have a couple years to work on that one... and he's young enough that I might just be overly worried in the face of the relief I feel at how well OldestBoy is turning out

But he'll miss this girl. Me too; she's a real sweetie. She moved about 5 miles away last year, but they have kept much in touch.